She Has No Time
by JustKeepOnTheGrass
Summary: In which The High King could not sleep and discover the most disastrous piece of cookie, and the promise that she had all the time in the world for him. Sibling story: Peter and Su. R


**AN: **_I have always been deeply impacted by Susan's fate in the Chronicles books. I have always adored her relationship with Peter, being the two eldest of the four siblings. __In The Last Battle when Tirian had enquired after Susan, it was Peter who said that she was no longer a friend of Narnia and he changed the subject. I have already written a story for Edmund and Lucy (What a Sleepless night brings, which is a favourite of mine) and now I decided 'why not try writing one of Peter and Susan?' So here it is! Although I like my EdLu story better, please still DO review and tell me what you think. In this story__ there is NO incest intended. Just sibling love ONLY. Written while listening to 'She has no time' by Keane. Hope you all enjoy it. ) Forever, Lorianna Kim._

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**She has no time**

_You think your days are uneventful_

_And no one ever thinks about you_

_She goes her own way_

_She goes her own way _

_You think your days are ordinary_

_And no one ever thinks about you_

_But we're all the same_

_And she can hardly breathe without you _

_She says she has no time_

_For you now_

_She says she has no time_

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His slippers scraped on the marble floor as he made his way down the stairs to the little kitchen. It was a very small one just for the four kings and queens. Lately this room had been the High King Peter 's favourite room for when he could not sleep, he usually comes down from his bed chamber in his dressing gown and warm slippers to find a midnight snack here. It was his ideal room for two reasons. First was that it was warm and snugly, not too big. Second was that it had a window looking out to the hills of Narnia.

Tonight the moon shone her silver light upon the mountains in the distant and the stars of Narnia seemed to shine ever so brightly than usual. Peter prowled around the kitchen for a couple of minutes before finding a plate of cold cookies. They were already hard. He sighed inwardly, wishing for a cup of milk or tea. There was no way he could get a cup of warm milk this time of night (unless he make his way to the barns and milk one of the cows himself), and about the cup of tea, Peter was a terrible tea maker. To describe through Edmund's words, '_the worst tea maker there ever was. And I thought I was bad!' _

Peter chuckled softly when he thought of his brother's words. He sat down on a wooden chair and took a bite of the cookie, wishing for a sweet heavenly taste that would cure his throbbing headache. Instead, what he received was quite the contrary, for he thought for a minute that he was actually eating sand. He coughed and quickly scrambled up to find a drink of water. He drained his goblet in a split second and coughed some more. That was when he heard a soft ringing laugh from the doorway. He looked up.

Susan was standing there clad in her silken blue dressing gown and her long black hair streamed about her shoulders. Her eyes were twinkling. 'Oh, brother' she gasped through her giggles. 'Is it that bad?'

Peter scowled. 'Terrible, sister. Simply terrible.' He drained another goblet full of the clear cold water. 'Tonight doesn't seem to be my night'

'Peter, what a thing to say!' admonished his sister. She walked into the little kitchen and put him back into his wooden chair. She observed him closely. His face was unnaturally pale and there were dark circles under his eyes, which were dimmed. Immediately her hand found its way into his mob of golden hair and she stroked it softly. The sympathy seemed to have done its work for Peter reached out for his sister's hand and granted it courteously with a brother's kiss . 'Oh, Su. I wouldn't know what to do without you'

She smiled softly. Her eyes seemed to ache a little from hearing the exhaustion in her older brother's voice. 'Brother, you know I can't bear to see you suffer. Not like this'

'I'm perfectly fine' said Peter.

'No you're not' her beautiful eyes snapped. 'I've noticed, Peter. You could hardly sleep at night, you hardly eat and you spend all day in your study prowling over maps and documents.'

'Susan..'

'I'm perfectly serious, Peter' interrupted the queen. 'I know this business with Calormen worries you and that you fear for war. I do too. But I also fear for you, brother. Everytime a war arises it kills me to see you and Edmund riding into battle, for I fear everytime that you would not come back'

'But we did come back. Everytime'

'I wouldn't lose you both. I couldn't' she said firmly. She closed her eyes painfully and opened them again. Peter saw, for the first time, the agony of waiting in his sister's angelic features. The High King fell into silence and he didn't know what to say. He almost decided to avoid the awkwardness of the situation by taking another bite of the cookie, but he was deprived of this heroic act by his royal sister who said; 'Peter… I could not protect you in battles nor could I advise you in war strategies, but as a sister, I want you to be happy. If a war does come from this ugly business, I don't want you to go fighting the Tisroc's soldiers half starved, brother!'

'Susan, I would not see you worry and fuss over me' Peter decided to raise his voice a little to emphasize his point and position as the eldest. 'I, eventually, will be fine. Time is all I need, sister. What worries me is how I could prevent this war from happening, and preventing our people from suffering…and also there's the matter of the Northern giants to consider.'

'Let Edmund help you' said Susan. 'You know he is ever so clever in these politics and diplomatic issues. Let him help. Let us help, Peter, for not one of us would ever let you suffer through anything alone.'

'You know I always heed your advice, fair sister. But this may resolve into a bigger conflict than all of us ever imagined and I don't want all of us to suffer what I am suffering! Calormen is not a small nation. The Tisroc wants to crush us to dust, Susan, and I would not let that happen as long as I still draws breath!'

'And neither will us' interrupted Susan. Her voice was firm and determined. She grasped her brother's hand in hers. 'You are not alone, brother. We are with you. We all are willing to lay down everything for our Narnia.'

Peter sighed, and when a mighty King such as Peter sighs in this way, others could not help their hearts from aching, for the fear they hear in this broken act of vulnerability could tear them to pieces. And Susan, even though she was his own sister, could not bear to see any of her siblings crumble in such a way.

'Oh Peter…' she cried. 'All would be alright. Aslan would protect us. He would never leave us in despair.'

'You are right as always, Susan. But how I wish I could see him! It seemed like a lifetime since we last saw him, since we last hear his voice. I do not know what I'd do if he is not behind us in this and if he…URGH!' of course this last address was from him absentmindedly taking another bite of the horrific cookie. Peter it out immediately into his napkin. Susan laughed merrily.

'This is not a comical situation, Su!' snapped Peter. 'These cookies are truly terrible! You have no right to laugh at me for being the victim of this horrible food.'

Susan chuckled. 'I'm awfully sorry, brother' she smothered her giggles. 'There, there..' she tried soothing a very red face Peter who was drowning another goblet of water. 'Let me make you a cup of tea.'

'You do that!' Peter spluttered at her from between coughs. Susan smiled amusingly and she went to do her promised task. Unlike Peter, she was an excellent tea maker. She had her own garden in the grounds of Cair Paravel which grows different kinds of herbs and vegetables she could use for cooking or medicine. Fortunately, she kept a large supply of these herbs in this kitchen. Susan was the kind of person who liked to make extraordinary kinds of tea, and you and I both know that there's a particular art in tea making which men could not master as well as ladies. After a couple of minutes, Susan laid a cup brimming with sweet smelling tea in front of Peter. He could not help marvel at her achievement.

'There you are, brother' smiled Susan, as she took a seat next to him. 'Take a sip and tell me whether you like it or not'

Peter did as he was bidden and his eyes widened. 'This is remarkably delicious, Su.'

His sister smiled proudly. 'Thank you.'

'It tastes…similar to something I've tasted before' marveled Peter '…but don't know where.'

'This is the first time I brew this kind' said Susan 'It is strange, for I realize while I was making it that it is no kind of Narnian tea. I do not know how I know how to make it. It just comes natural'

Peter licked his lips and savored the test in his mouth; the sweet, calming taste that reminded him of a red brick house, children's laughter, and a warm loving kiss on his cheek. He opened his eyes and shook the memories away.

'I must learn how to make this' he decided.

Susan couldn't help smiling. 'Why, brother! What caused this sudden commitment?'

'Honestly, I do not know' said Peter. 'I supposed this recipe of yours create a special impact on me. How about tomorrow night before bed time?'

'The High King of Narnia learning to make tea with his sister?' joked Susan, her eyes twinkling merrily and her cheeks flushed from laughing. Looking at his sister now, Peter understood why Princes would cross oceans for her hand in marriage.

He smiled and drew her closer to him, planting a kiss on her forehead. 'There would be no one else I'd rather learn from, sister'

Susan laughed and her laughter ringed around the room like clear silver bells. She smiled up at her older brother. 'Fortunately, my beloved brother, I have all the time in the world for you'

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She glanced out the window. Outside the street of London was chilled with cold droplets of rain. The lamp post outside seemed like vacant frozen statues rather than beacons of hope. Only a few people were walking in the streets, all of them clad in warm coats that shielded them from the biting cold. Susan rubbed her foggy window to get a clearer view. Her carriage hadn't yet arrived.

She dropped the curtains and looked around her bedroom. The wardrobe door was wide open and all her clothes had been emptied from it. All the pictures and small decorations she had were all packed inside her big suitcase. Her bedroom for twenty one years now looked bared and abandoned. She bent down to adjust the clasp on her suitcase when there was a knock on the door.

'Come in' said she.

The door opened and Peter walked in. Since he came back from university a month ago, Susan still couldn't get use to her brother's long hair style and his scholastic look. With a soft pang, she realized she wouldn't be seeing much of him anymore.

But she hardly had seen him since he came back anyways, she reminded herself. She was always out late and when she tiptoed into the house it was past midnight. All she ever saw of him was his token, a cup of cambric tea waiting for her everynight on the kitchen table. It was always warm, so she knew he had estimated her arrival and came down to make it a few minutes before she comes home.

Now Peter was standing infront of her, his hands in his pockets and he was looking around her room. It seemed to him like it was yesterday when he had to come in here in the middle of the night when he heard her crying from nightmares and he had to tell her stories till she falls asleep. Standing here now, it seemed like not much time had passed at all since they were little children.

'Um…Mum wants me to check up on you before your ride arrives. In case you need anything'

'Thank you, Peter' she smiled softly, but it wasn't the same smile he remembered. 'I have all I need.' She looked back down on her bag and did some more adjusting, which Peter knew wasn't necessary. His eyes rested on a lone photograph on his sister's bedside.

He swallowed. 'You're not taking dad's picture?' His voice came out all rasp.

Her head snapped up and she followed his gaze. She looked down again quickly. 'There is no need to'

Peter didn't know what to say. It was like when he first came back a month ago. Susan had walked over to him in her new outfit and make up, and she kissed him on both cheeks, leaving soft trails of lipstick. She had told him welcome home. He had said thank you and hugged her, but he looked at her as if all she ever was has all dissolved, for the person he saw standing infront of him was not his sister, but a broken porcelain doll.

He bit his lips and looked again at the picture of his handsome young father. Peter asked him telepathically what to do, praying that he could only hear him. 'Susan…we want you to come with us' said Peter.

Susan straightened up and rolled her eyes. The mascara and eye liner hid the twinkles that were once there. 'Peter, we have been through this'

'Please. Su' he begged. He could not bear to see her leave like this. He didn't want _them _to part like this. 'We are taking the train tomorrow. It would just be a small gathering of old friends; Edmund, Lucy and I, the professor, Eustace and…'

'Peter, please' she snapped. Her cold voice cut him and he fell silence. She sighed and looked away. It seemed like she was holding back tears. 'I have no time now.'

'Susan, it would be fun' whispered Peter, his voice breaking a little. 'it would be just like…'

'Just like what?'

Peter swallowed the growing lump in his throat. 'just…just like old times.'

She turned and looked at him straight in the eye. And he suddenly realized that she had never done that in a long time. 'The old times are gone, Peter. Learn to live with that. I have.'

'But you are not happy, Susan' he walked over to her and caught hold of her arms. 'The old times are gone, Su, you're right…. But they are not lost. Edmund and Lucy… they still need you. What happen to family, Susan? What happen to us? What ever happen to being together through everything?'

She still wouldn't respond. She stared at him and her eyes flashed. For a moment he thought she was going to strike him.

'Don't you remember, Su? Just for a bit… don't you remember what we used to say?'

Tears were shining in her eyes but she wouldn't let them fall. She pulled away from his touch. She wouldn't say anything for a while. It seemed she was trying to hold it all together. Finally she whispered out brokenly; 'You're not my father, Peter'

She could have slapped him in the face and that would have been less painful than what she uttered. Peter felt the colours in his cheeks rising. 'Father is gone, I know that' he dropped his hands. 'but I'm your brother. And that still counts for something.'

He glared at her and she glared back. In that moment when their eyes met, the truth hit him for the first time that he was losing her. It was not just the fact that she was moving out, but the fact that they had lost themselves and seemed never to find them again. In that moment, he wanted to reach out and hold her. She would always be his little sister. He wanted to keep her with him just for a while to tell her he loved her.

Suddenly, their mother's voice rang up the stairs. 'Susan, darling, your ride is here.'

She was the first one to look away. She pick up her coat and put it on. 'I have to go'

'Su…'

Her hand was on her suitcase. 'Peter, I have to go my own way now' The anger in her eyes were gone as quickly as it came. Instead she was looking at him painfully. She had let the tears fall now, and they were making their way silently down her pale cheeks. She tried smiling courageously, trying to reassure him that all was well between them , that she was no longer mad at him. But the smile came out broken instead. She opened her mouth to speak but no sound came out. Finally she managed to utter two words; 'Goodbye Peter'

She pick up her suitcase and walked past him to the door. Her high heels made echoing noises on the wooden floor boards. She reached the door and opened it.

'Susan' Peter called out for his sister one last time. She turned back to see that his eyes were begging her not to go.

'Peter, don't' she whispered.

He shook his head and managed a forced laugh. 'I was just going to say…' he looked straight at her. 'Take care of yourself.'

She smiled through her tears and he saw in her eyes, though painful they maybe, that she loved him still. She tightened her hold on her bag and she winked at him one last time. 'Have fun, brother'

She turned around and walked out, closing the door softly behind her as she always does as long as he could remember. She left him standing there in the middle of her empty room. He stared at the place where she had just stood a minute ago, then he looked up at his father's smiling face in the wooden frame.

Peter did not know how long he had stood there. Then he heard the sound of the carriage door closing. He looked out the window to see it driven further and further away from their home, down the streets and finally gone from his sight.

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Edmund had given him the window seat and he had taken it gladly. He didn't want to talk to his brother or Lucy much at the moment. He pressed his face against the cold window pane, looking out to the green countryside speeding past, even though in truth he wasn't seeing anything much. He was thinking of his sister, his best friend.

He couldn't help having this awful feeling in the pit of his stomach that he would not see her again for a very long time. He thought of how she is going to live on her own. Would she miss him? Would she miss her family?

But he knew then that he could hardly breathe without her; for she was part of him, like how _they _were all part of him. He would always have this pain his heart whenever he thinks of her, his little sister.

This world is not his Narnia. He could not hold them close to him at all time or draw out his sword to protect them. He could no longer rush into battle and defeat the man who shames his sisters' honor. He could no longer do that. He could only love them and help them to take the right path. He had learned to do that since he came back, even with much toil.

But he did not know what to do if one of them is lost along the way.

_She had no time for __you __now. You did not know when she would ever have. _

He decided, as Lucy reached out to hug him and Edmund thumped him on the back, that all he could do is hope; hope that she would find herself and come back. He could only hope and wait, for as Aslan had once told him a long time ago when he was a king in a mighty castle, that everyone loses their way sometimes but the important thing is whether or not they could find their way back in the end.

_Lonely people tumble downwards_

_My heart opens up to you_

_When she says _

_She says she has no time_

_For you now_

**THE END **


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